Going to try and make this short as I’m running late to head out to the Keith Urban and T.Swift concert tonight.
I got a semi-great 12.5 miler in. The time / pace was pretty quick, but impending severe t-storms will do that. Luckily I didn’t get struck by lighting (just missed the beginning of the storm) but I got soaked. And I don’t like precipitation. I had to hold my arms out and pretend to like it waving my hands around to lighten my mood. I’m sure ppl thought I was more crazy than usual. But once I was thoroughly soaked (and I mean my clothes were raining too) I kind of just gave in and the run became pleasant. It’s the transition from 100% dry to 100% wet that sucks.
I also did week6day3 of the pushup challenge. Technically that means I’m done with the program and ready to do the final test. I think I might repeat this past week (as I’ve done with weeks 4 and 5) because I feel like I could use a little more strength before actually pounding out 100 in a row.
But my ARGH moment came just now, as I finished up a section on an MCAT practice test. I just spent the last 2ish weeks really cramming hard. But if you looked at my results from today I have not improved. ONE. FREAKING. POINT. This is the most frustrating thing of my life. I’ve worked my butt off and I have nothing (at the moment) to show for it. I can’t even image what test day is going to bring if this is only a practice. Now I’m worried sick because I’m afraid I’m seriously going to fail it. If after 9 weeks of studying and the last 2 having studying being my job and I’m where I was 9 weeks ago, I see a problem. A big problem.
I’m prolly putting too much pressure on myself. But the pressure is totally warranted as this test is a huge component for deciding my future, or at least when / what medical school I apply to. I know that maybe in the big grand scheme of things, this isn’t so bad. And I know that it’s mostly a psychological thing at this point. But man, I just want some positive feedback from my brain. And just as a note, I’d appreciate good vibes *hinthint* over words such as “you’ll do fine, you’re a smart kid” ect because too many ppl have been telling me that and it just adds to the frustration.
*LeSigh* I need to chill out. It’s just so damn hard to do with the test being so close. I do have some things to look forward to: A) concert tonight B) running tmrw morning with a friend C) Aug 5th at approx 13:10.
Now let’s hope I survive that long 🙂