This is a bit random and there really isn’t any context for me wanting to bring it up. I don’t think it’s any secret that I struggle a bit with confidence issues. This week has been pretty tough in that department and I feel a little beaten up. MCAT studying and running had been kind of hit or miss lately. So imagine my surprise when I found this quote in my inbox:
Believe deep down in your heart that you’re destined to do great things.
Joe Paterno, Head football coach of Penn State University
And it gave me chills. Because it was just what my friends have been telling me lately and exactly what I needed to see. After my MCAT class Tuesday night I headed over to my friends house to chill and she gave me a pep talk that bears repeating (and it really stuck with me so I’m 99.99% sure this is verbatim): “Listen I know that you don’t believe that you’re hot, smart, funny, fast or awesome. And I know that you pull away from anything or anyone that tells you this. But I’m going to be the doctor now and write you a prescription. Every hour on the hour I need to you say OUT LOUD that “I am freaking awesome”. It’s like Nazi propaganda: if you say something enough times you’ll believe it to be true”
No joke about that last part. It’s true. Saying something enough times will eventually turn it into a truth. Maybe not the best analogy because Nazi propaganda was based in lies and I’m pretty sure she was trying to tell me that my “lies” are actually truth. But I think she’d been drinking and I’ll forgive her for that one. She’s also making me a copy of her “pump up” mix, which is something she listens too before big events like presentations and whatnot. I’m actually pretty excited for that one.
So I guess my prescription is an apt one. It’s not like I’m wallowing in self-pity or anything. Totally not the case but every once in awhile life gets extra tough and tries to knock you down. It can lead into a snowball effect and it’s good to get a verbal reminder from inside that you’re awesome. So I challenge YOU to tell yourself that you’re amazing and awesome and the world’s best person 🙂
Something not so awesome though? My toes.
And I just re-read that transition and my first thought was: “Oh snap another toe infection?” hahah NO.
For some reason the spot where my toes connect to my actual feet is feeling achy. I discovered it Saturday night because I have this awkward/nervous habit of rising up on my toes, the way a dancer would, when I feel awkward (and trust me this happens a lot. MM is a very awkward chick) which then stretches that spot. And I really felt like tendons/muscles were being pulled and stretched. Very weird and I’m not quite sure what to chalk it up to. I was thinking too many miles on my shoes but the pair I’m in now has *only* 1021 miles and I’m not feeling the usual shin splits pain of worn out shoes so I’m my wallet is hoping to still get more.
Neither is my running suffering as a result. Since my last post I got in
- 8.3 miles on Monday. Okay so maybe not the greatest example of good running. I think the dehydration I was talking about occurring Saturday and Sunday was still in effect as I had the worst stomach/intestinal pain ever. It felt as though daggers were stabbing me in the gut. Granted the pain subsided after 2 or so miles but I really have no idea how I got through them. I’m stubborn I guess. Or a masochist. Either way I did the miles @ 8:55 pace which felt miraculous given how I felt at the beginning.
- Lifting and 10 Tuesday. I’ve fallen out of love with lifting lately. When my alarm went off that morning I wanted to throw it against the wall. But once I’m up there’s no falling back asleep blahh. So I drug my butt to the gym. I’m actually pretty happy that I did because I was offered to work a couple shifts coming up. Makes me feel a little better about using the gym for free and not even having a small regular shift like summers past. The 10 miles I did before my class were pretty great. I only had planned on going 6 or 7 but I just felt on. It was very humid out and VERY hard to breathe at first but I just got into a groove.
- 2 X 7 miles Wednesday. Well that’s the plan at least. I was woken up by my 14 year old brother at 0755 saying that I needed to drive him to work at 0800. So much for sleeping in. Once I got back to the house I figured that I’d skip my mid-day run and just get something in before settling down to run. Surprisingly this run was really good. Maybe the whole waking up mid-sleep cycle thing? Aside from the first 5 minutes or so the rest of the run felt effortless and gliding. And summer truly must be here because it was sports bra and shorts only weather at 0800. I know that many of you have worse weather but I’m not ready for 80* with ~75% humidity that early.
I”m actually getting ready to head out for the second 7 miler soon. Just need to finish up a section on solution equilibria. Yes my life is the most exciting thing ever. Hopefully the run will feel just as great as my morning run did. Or better. That would be pretty awesome. Fitting for an awesome person 😛