MarathonMaiden's Blog

June 23, 2010

Because Clearly I Am Awesome

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — marathonmaiden @ 15:31

This is a bit random and there really isn’t any context for me wanting to bring it up. I don’t think it’s any secret that I struggle a bit with confidence issues.  This week has been pretty tough in that department and I feel a little beaten up.  MCAT studying and running had been kind of hit or miss lately. So imagine my surprise when I found this quote in my inbox:

Believe deep down in your heart that you’re destined to do great things.
Joe Paterno, Head football coach of Penn State University

And it gave me chills.  Because it was just what my friends have been telling me lately and exactly what I needed to see. After my MCAT class Tuesday night I headed over to my friends house to chill and she gave me a pep talk that bears repeating (and it really stuck with me so I’m 99.99% sure this is verbatim): “Listen I know that you don’t believe that you’re hot, smart, funny, fast or awesome.  And I know that you pull away from anything or anyone that tells you this.  But I’m going to be the doctor now and write you a prescription.  Every hour on the hour I need to you say OUT LOUD that “I am freaking awesome”.  It’s like Nazi propaganda: if you say something enough times you’ll believe it to be true

No joke about that last part.  It’s true.  Saying something enough times will eventually turn it into a truth.  Maybe not the best analogy because Nazi propaganda was based in lies and I’m pretty sure she was trying to tell me that my “lies” are actually truth.  But I think she’d been drinking and I’ll forgive her for that one.  She’s also making me a copy of her “pump up” mix, which is something she listens too before big events like presentations and whatnot. I’m actually pretty excited for that one.

So I guess my prescription is an apt one.  It’s not like I’m wallowing in self-pity or anything.  Totally not the case but every once in awhile life gets extra tough and tries to knock you down.  It can lead into a snowball effect and it’s good to get a verbal reminder from inside that you’re awesome.  So I challenge YOU to tell yourself that you’re amazing and awesome and the world’s best person 🙂

Something not so awesome though? My toes.

And I just re-read that transition and my first thought was: “Oh snap another toe infection?” hahah NO.

For some reason the spot where my toes connect to my actual feet is feeling achy.  I discovered it Saturday night because I have this awkward/nervous habit of rising up on my toes, the way a dancer would, when I feel awkward (and trust me this happens a lot.  MM is a very awkward chick) which then stretches that spot.  And I really felt like tendons/muscles were being pulled and stretched.  Very weird and I’m not quite sure what to chalk it up to.  I was thinking too many miles on my shoes but the pair I’m in now has *only* 1021 miles and I’m not feeling the usual shin splits pain of worn out shoes so I’m my wallet is hoping to still get more.

Neither is my running suffering as a result.  Since my last post I got in

  • 8.3 miles on Monday.  Okay so maybe not the greatest example of good running.  I think the dehydration I was talking about occurring Saturday and Sunday was still in effect as I had the worst stomach/intestinal pain ever.  It felt as though daggers were stabbing me in the gut. Granted the pain subsided after 2 or so miles but  I really have no idea how I got through them.  I’m stubborn I guess.  Or a masochist.  Either way I did the miles @ 8:55 pace which felt miraculous given how I felt at the beginning.
  • Lifting and 10 Tuesday.  I’ve fallen out of love with lifting lately.  When my alarm went off that morning I wanted to throw it against the wall.  But once I’m up there’s no falling back asleep blahh. So I drug my butt to the gym.  I’m actually pretty happy that I did because I was offered to work a couple shifts coming up.  Makes me feel a little better about using the gym for free and not even having a small regular shift like summers past.  The 10 miles I did before my class were pretty great.  I only had planned on going 6 or 7 but I just felt on. It was very humid out and VERY hard to breathe at first but I just got into a groove.
  • 2 X 7 miles Wednesday.  Well that’s the plan at least.  I was woken up by my 14 year old brother at 0755 saying that I needed to drive him to work at 0800.  So much for sleeping in.  Once I got back to the house I figured that I’d skip my mid-day run and just get something in before settling down to run.  Surprisingly this run was really good.  Maybe the whole waking up mid-sleep cycle thing? Aside from the first 5 minutes or so the rest of the run felt effortless and gliding.  And summer truly must be here because it was sports bra and shorts only weather at 0800.  I know that many of you have worse weather but I’m not ready for 80* with ~75% humidity that early.

I”m actually getting ready to head out for the second 7 miler soon.  Just need to finish up a section on solution equilibria. Yes my life is the most exciting thing ever.  Hopefully the run will feel just as great as my morning run did.  Or better. That would be pretty awesome.  Fitting for an awesome person 😛


  1. Enjoy the run. And that is weird about your toes. Not sure what to tell you at all. I don’t have a clue.

    I think a lot of women have trouble with accepting praise but often times we deserve it.

    Comment by J — June 23, 2010 @ 16:06

  2. Love the quote and thanks for the reminder an confidence boost!! Sending good thoughts to those toes.

    Comment by ShutupandRun — June 23, 2010 @ 16:12

  3. I love how honest you were in this post. I know it’s hard sometimes to talk about these types of issues on a blog, but it’s really important to share because you realize that you’re not alone in these thoughts and feelings. I think everyone goes through this at least once in their life (and usually more often than that!) That’s awesome that you have such great friends to call you out on it and tell you how awesome you are! Hold on to them : ) You’re definitely awesome in my book!

    Comment by BostonRunner — June 23, 2010 @ 16:35

  4. Was that a running world quote? I feel like I’ve read it in my inbox recently, too! :p

    Comment by Amy @ Second City Randomness — June 23, 2010 @ 16:48

  5. Great quote 🙂

    Re: Your toes. Maybe your shoes are too tight?

    Comment by Matt — June 23, 2010 @ 18:14

  6. Awwww, Mini Me- you ARE awesome! Believe it and embrace it. Love ya!

    Comment by Rebecca — June 23, 2010 @ 20:47

  7. I agree with Coach Paterno. It’s so hard sometimes (ahem, especially if you happen to be a girl) to believe that you can kick ass in your life. Or are on the road to really being spectacular and making a difference and all that jazz. But, yes! Remind yourself! You’ve already done amazing things; more will obvi be on the way. It only makes sense.

    Comment by sarah — June 23, 2010 @ 21:20

  8. Haha, your friend sounds awesome. Spot on. You’re gonna rock it. Seems to me that testing is in a way like racing — trust the process, trust your preparation, have faith in your mental “fitness,” and all will go well. All this prep and hard work is gonna come back and reward you!

    Comment by sweatykid — June 23, 2010 @ 21:30

  9. I’m so glad you’ve falling in love with lifting–it’s great!!
    ❤ jess

    Comment by Jess — June 23, 2010 @ 22:11

    • Haha I actually wrote that I’m falling *out* of love with lifting. It’s getting to be a chore to drag myself to the gym!

      Comment by marathonmaiden — June 24, 2010 @ 22:56

  10. I think so many of us struggle with our self-confidence…but let me tell you this, if I had even the slightest chance of passing the MCAT I would have an ego the size of Texas. The fact that you are going to pass with flying colors? Well that should give you the confidence to do absolutely anything!!

    Comment by Ameena — June 23, 2010 @ 22:42

  11. Nice quote, I know you’re going to rock the MCAT, I can see that you work really hard and you’re obviously an inteligent girl so believe in yourself 🙂

    Comment by Laura — June 24, 2010 @ 04:13

  12. I just relate so much to you in this post and strive to be like you in parts of others. I feel like when I am psyched up for a job interview or test they go so much better than when I go in feeling wishy-washy or nervous. That MCAT is scared of you; go show it who can do ten miles in the humid weather and lift weights all in one day! you are awesome

    Comment by Katherine: What About Summer? — June 24, 2010 @ 10:16

  13. Classic quote, I love it!

    Comment by thefoodrunner — June 24, 2010 @ 10:22

  14. Great post. MCAT study is like marathon training … it’s a war, much more mental than physical. I’m sure you are bringing the same (if not much more) intensity to studying than you did with Boston. Remember, you run your best when you are relaxed. Same deal with the test. Let the material wash over you, repeatedly. If you try to jam it all into your brain and remember every item all the time, it just won’t work. Pace yourself. Literally. You’ll do awesome and I will have a reason to visit you at Stanford Medical School!

    Comment by a marathoner — June 24, 2010 @ 11:48

  15. You are awesome!! I’m envious of your speed and your mileage and your running!! 🙂

    Comment by Jaime — June 24, 2010 @ 11:59

  16. You said you’ve been trying to run more on your toes, could that be why they’re hurting? I’m also out of love with lifting right now. Kinda forcing myself along.

    Comment by Jess — June 24, 2010 @ 14:20

    • Good call on the toe thing. It’s just so weird to be like “I need to stretch my toes” because, as you can attest, I don’t stretch haha. And UGH to lifting. I’ve been dragging myself to the gym lately!

      Comment by marathonmaiden — June 24, 2010 @ 22:58

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