Un-moping

Sarah told me yesterday that she hoped I “un-moped” soon.  So do I.  And while I still feel a bit mopey (I swear it’s the weather as it yet ANOTHER day of rainy skies) I’m going to do my best to snap out of it. 

This song helps. A lot.

I sincerely believe in the power of the mind.  Sure I don’ t necessarily believe that you’ll always get what you want if you try hard enough but I do think that, when it comes to mental outlook, if you try hard enough you can be UN-MOPEY.

Which is why, despite the stats of this morning’s run I’m in a MUCH better mood.  Yes, yesterday was a rough day.  It was really busy at work and chaotic and I left pretty tired.  Which is standard for Tuesday nights: getting home really late, not having time to eat a proper dinner, running around like crazy etc.

So I can recognize now that Wednesdays will never be the day to do speed work or any other type of quality workout. But now that I know and recognize this I can be at peace with it.  Doesn’t mean I need to enjoy it but just knowing that Wednesday = slow but all my other days are good makes one little blip not so bad. 

Anyway I wanted to get 10 miles in.  In actuality I got 8.2 in, which is 2 loops of the pathway.  A good compromise I think.  I got enough of a run in to justify getting up as early as I did but short enough that I felt like I had a few miles left in me.  Which is good because Monday and Tuesday were 12 milers.  And really good ones at that. A cut-back so-to-speak in MM language.

• 1st loop: 4.1 miles @ 9:23
• 2nd loop: 4.1 miles @ 9:08
• Total:           8.2 miles @ 9:16

Ouch. Not literally though. But after having such stellar runs for the past 3 or 4 months seeing average paces 9:00+ is tough even knowing beforehand it was going to be slow.  But it’s what happen and I’m surprisingly okay with it.  I still got to run and although it was slow it was never physically or mentally awful and I wanted to be out there.  Therefore life is good and UN-MOPEY 😀

I did get 7.5 hours of sleep last night too which, if you know how early I get up, you know that means I was ridiculously tired when I got home and literally collapsed into bed. Oops.

But on the bright side I got to sleep.  Which was glorious. Especially since the one good thing about the incoming cold is sleeping in it.  So despite it being cold-ish lately and yucky out I still slept with my windows open and my fan blowing in it.  Am I weird? Maybe but it’s so nice to have  a freeeeeeeeeeeeezing room (and for those of you who know me you know that I HATE the cold.  Like I need to migrate south for the winter) and then bury under some comforters and / or a quilt.

Also for ONCE in my life I looked outside, saw it actually raining, and didn’ t think “oh #$%” like I usually do.  I’ve maintained that I don’ t mind running in the rain as long as it starts once I’ve started but starting a run in the rain is awful.  Maybe it was me being all sleep deprived but I didn’t mind this morning.  A good sign for things to come and another thing that is UN-MOPEY.

It helped that it was 60* out. Cold / fall whaaaaaaaat? I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fluctuations in temperature New England likes to put us though. And I’ve lived here my whole life!

And since I have nothing profound to add today (except that it’s T-5 days until the Tufts 10k) here’s another physics joke from xkcd.com( which I’m glad you guys liked.  Well some of you anyway 😉 ).  I’m such a nerd. I literally laughed out loud with this one.

So consider me un-moped.  Because I am. Even though this post did have some complaining in it 😉

How [Double] Running Can Rock: No Stress & Good Moods

So in this installment of How Running Can Rock I want to talk about stress level (if you missed it here’s the one about double running and here’s the one about refueling/carbohydrates and how each is helping me run fast).  Clearly there isn’t much we can do about certain kinds of stress, like our bosses yelling and screaming or the amount of homework professors drop on you (although luckily there will be no more of that for me.  I’m a graduate 😛 )

And I know that many of you use running as stress relief (I DEFINITELY do) but I’m writing these posts about when all the stars align and running is just on. And sometimes you can do all things right of your control (refuel, hydrate adequately, rest) but sometimes you just need a period of good old fashioned NO STRESS.

Courtesy of Google Images

Or should I say, low stress.  You see, stress is actually GOOD for the body.  In terms of physical stress, our bones are kept healthy by our pavement pounding, mechanical stress that creates new bone and gets rid of old bone.  And certain chemical stresses (hormones) keep our body functioning properly. Even slight colds putting stress on the body are good because they keep the immune system on their toes (and I think this is what vaccinations do as well).

Mental stress is good in some capacity too.  I’m not talking about debilitating paralyzing stress.  You know, the kind that makes you want to curl up into a ball and cry (not that I know anything about that…) but rather stress that keeps you driven.  If we didn’t have deadlines to meet how would we get anything accomplished? How could we feel proud that we did something and met a goal?

For me, this means being focused.  During the semester, I was running well but I wasn’t running *well*.  Now I’m not quite sure if you can tell over the internet but those two “wells” have different meanings.  Before the semester was over nothing was wrong per se with my running: my paces were good, my body wasn’t hurting etc. I was running solely to burn off my stress.  Which was good and did what it intended too.  But there was no real passion.  No overjoyousness to get out there on the streets and GO.

Ever since the semester ended I’ve been pretty even keeled so running doesn’t need to be my therapy. Yes it still does help me mull over ideas but with no pressure there’s no worries.  I’m a graduate, I have a job (!! I know I haven’t said anything about this but one of the places I interviewed during senior week rejected me for the position I interviewed for but offered me a different one.  And after weighing my options, because I was offered another position too, I decided to take it) and I’m prepping for the MCAT as well as applying to medical school.

Life seems to be moving forward and chugging along quite nicely.

And yes you read that right: prepping for the MCAT is keeping me even-keeled.  But hear me out: with this test I am not at the mercy of a rigid class schedule per se.  I do have my T-R 1830-2130 class but for actual studying I can create my ideal schedule.  Plus what I’m doing right now have a *purpose*.  I’m doing something that really is getting me on the path to Med School.  And that’s exciting. To respond to Jess who, in jest, said “MSB is studying for his first board exam and it’s more like 10-12 hours a day! I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into;)” I say Bring. It. On.

There’s something markedly different in doing something that is your passion vs. doing something because you have too (ahem some of my classes).  I liken it to running vs. lifting for me.  Running clearly is my passion and I LOVE getting out there (well most of the time heh) so even during the Monster Month I didn’t mind putting in the work.  I knew that it was going to get me to my goal of Boston.  But lifting? I knew it was good for me sure but I wasn’t excited to hit the gym all the time.

Another component of the good mood / no stress lifestyle is the weather.

Google Images again

Clearly this is something else we can’t control.  I know that when the sun is out no matter what I’m doing, even stuck in a lab, life is good.  Rainy days just kill motivation.  I’d be interested to see depression studies, if any have been done, comparing people in the Pacific North West and SoCal.  (And I’m NOT saying that PNW has more depressed people or anything just that the image associated there is rain and rain and rain). So I’m lucky that lately these double runs have come on a good stretch of weather.

Okay so what exactly is the point of this and my double running? Well clearly low stress / focused stress = good mood = want to run more.  And sunny skies = good mood = want to run more.  So good moods help with running.  Which is a good thing when you’re lacing up the shoes twice a day.

Now some may say that ANGRY running makes them run fast and well.  Which I agree with to a degree.  I’m not going to go research any studies but, anecdotally, I can say that while my angry runs are fast they tend to blow over fast too.  Like running gets rid of the anger so then the fastness wanes because I’m no longer angry and often, no longer have a desire to go for more.  I could also see running under the influence of anger to be slightly dangerous as there’s the potential to not pay attention to things around and within you (distractions, going out too hard and hurting yourself etc.)

Running will NEVER get rid of happiness so when I start off in a good mood  I’m likely to stay “high” and want to do more.

Unlike the carbohydrate post I posted, this aspect of how double running can rock is more about when the stars align.  Yes there are things that can be done to achieve a low stress / balanced mindset but the best running, for me, comes from a genuine woke-up-on-the-right-side-of-the-bed feeling. I can’t guarantee that the weather is going to be so nice and sunny and warm forever.  I can’t guarantee that my life is only going to have one focus like it does at the moment (aka Operation Get Into Medical School).

Speedy Weekend. Holler.

Ugh so when do I get my voice back? Like I mentioned in my last post, I had a real nasty virus Wednesday night and the only lingering effects are in my head: congestion (and not just any congestion, it feels like water is being constantly pushed up my nose), ear pressure , a moderately bad sore throat and a real sexy voice. Annoying as I had a couple interviews set up for next week and I really can’t cancel them.  Plus I’m tired of resting my voice! It was fun at first but I miss my real voice haha

Oh well. I woke up on Saturday morning with a pretty bad sore throat and I was absolutely starving so I decided to miss out on the cooler weather that first thing running brings and run before lunch.  I figure that it’d be good training for summer running, as by the time I left my dorm it was 70*, sunny with a few clouds and kind of windy.  Which was actually really nice, even the head wind, because it kept me cool.  I debated another sports bra run but figured a beater was sufficient.  Don’t want to scare too many people with my fish belly 😉

Anyway despite my thinking that my legs would be a little sluggish because of the consecutive days of running I’ve been doing lately (the fact that my gym isn’t open on the weekends anymore and only limited hours during the week has made me really good at justifying the whole run lots thing!) My LR went SO WELL.  I have no idea how it happened either, the entire time I was just telling myself to just go at a comfy pace because I was worried about crashing.  Definitely didn’t need to worry about that as I got 13.1 miles in at 8:30 pace.  That is, like, sprinting for me.  I’m in shock that I was able to run so fast and not feel like I was dying or anything.  I was getting a weird hand cramp during it though…odd. Any ideas why?! Very bizarre.

But an awesome way to say goodbye to that route! I wish I had been having these types of runs pre-Boston, something I know The Puerto Rican Kenyan has been talking about recently too. Guess I should just go with the flow right? And maybe try to capitalize on it by looking for a half or 10k sometime soon?Assuming I actually look for races haha.

I’m just pumped that it was a run where I wasn’t expecting my time to be so fast and when I checked my watch at the end it was like JEEZ LOUISE!

So I basked in it for a bit and took advantage of the really nice weather to lounge around for the rest of the day.  It’s not part of my personality to lounge around and do nothing though so I ended up making a big ass to-do list for Sunday! Note: I didn’t start doing any of the items Saturday night because Saturday = last day possible for finals = no matter what everyone is done.  Clearly that means party time.

And party time was fun.  I honestly haven’t seen a lot of my really good friends a lot this semester because everyone has been so busy / busy at very different times.  It was great to play catch up and drink and dance.  How I am going to really miss these moments post-graduation (and ACK D-6 days!!)

It’s totally a different feeling going out on a Saturday when you know you don’t have to get up to do school work the next morning. Sure I did have that to-do list, including but not limited to cover letters and resumes (ugh) but there’s always that awareness that if I don’t get them done immediately one more day won’ t *kill* me.  I’m trying to work on them now because I do want to get them out asap but the pressure was off.

Oh, nice segue MM into pressure again.  Because like my Saturday LR, my Sunday recovery run was, like all my runs post-Boston, pressure free.  And I don’t know if it’s the lack of pressure or lack of 100 mile weeks BUT my recovery run was at 9:06 pace.  Seriously? During Boston training I would have *paid* to see that kind of pacing during easy runs.  Or even LRs.

I know that I did start the run at a shuffle pace but my last mile was just under 8.  Again, seriously?! I’m still loving it and don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything buttt….I can’t help but wonder what kind of damage I could do to any race given my current love-affair with my legs.

It’s just really funny that on the past two runs my mind has been severely underestimating how fast I’m actually going.  Definitely goes to show you how mental running can be at times. Again, not a bad thing but I’m secretly hoping that this will help my internal pacing mechanism and hoping that it’s not lulling me into a false sense of security for whenever the next time I toe the line.  You know, thinking that I’m running way faster than I am and I get complacent. But with no races in the near future I guess that’s not too much of a worry.

Time to go finish up some of those cover letters I’m dreading.  If I can finish one more I’ll go outside and read for fun 🙂

Training For Boston 2010: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

A bunch of you have asked for my thoughts on how my training cycle went, what I learned etc.  And I figured that it would be a good thing for me to do. Even if no one else cares anymore or finds this post really boring   😉

It’s been XX days (and since I’m writing this over several days I don’t really know how many days it will have been when you read this but y’all are smart and can figure it out ha) post-Boston so the emotional high and euphoria has waned and I can be more analytical than if you asked me on the 20th of April what my thoughts were.

And be warned, I wasn’t quite sure how to organize my thoughts when I originally sat down to write this so they might jump around a bit. And because most of the questions I got were: what did you learn / what would you do differently there might be a slight emphasis on the negative/bad stuff.  Rest assured that I do consider this training cycle to be a success and I’m way happy with it.  Also, in true MM form it’s long.

The Good: I PR’d and re-BQ’d. Pain free too.  If that’s not good then I don’t know what is 😛

The Bad: Absolutely terrible shin splints that threatened to derail me. And there was a lot of doubt that creeped in on top of the physical woes.

The Ugly:aka what I would change. In general, though, everything that went “bad” I wouldn’t change.  I’m a very inexperienced marathoner / racer in general so no matter what the mistake I made was I needed it.  Cliche to say that but whatever, it’s how life is.  Of course I would have loved everything to fall under the good category but that would be anti-climatic, no?

But here’s a more detailed breakdown…

The training plan:

• The good: Very aggressive and that was good for me.  After training for my first marathon in early 2009 I felt like I hadn’t reached my full potential.  It was pretty conservative and I wanted something that would really challenge me.  Lots of speedwork was the perfect solution for that. I absolutely loved how much speedwork there was in the plan I picked.  It made me feel…well to state the obvious, fast.
• The bad: Well I guess the bad thing is that I didn’t follow it.  As in I added lots more miles.  Like way more.  I think the peak my plan had was 75 miles and I definitely hit 112 at one point during Monster Month.  There also weren’t any places to insert hills or lifting so I had to try and figure out where to place that which likely led to more intense sessions than necessary.
• The ugly: Nothing inherently ugly about the plan except that I was overzealous about getting in the miles — and then some.  This lead to a much more extended taper (remember the sports med doc who said I should start the taper 5 weeks out to counter the damage?) and I’m still feeling the effects of being over-trained.  I probably could have added some XT in there because I trained (pretty much) exclusively with running

Specifics with the training plan:

1. Pacing:

• The good: In general, pacing was good.  I was slightly faster than McMillian paces for all workouts but I was able to listen to my body for recovery runs which was good and an improvement.  My interval paces were always faster than called for on the plan (oops to following that sucker) but I was able to nail those workouts.  My LR pace was slightly all over the place but it was always within :45 – :75 of GMP (which at the time, and still is, 8:00) and thus was ~60-90 seconds slower than my actual race pace at Boston. Which, according to numerous sources and articles, is where it should have been.
• The bad: I still cannot for the life of me hit tempos.  It’s so hard and maybe it was a cause of all the mental stuff going on that I get into later but nailing a tempo still eludes me.  Curses.  Another bad thing was how all over the place my paces were for the LR.  Some weeks it was sub-9, some weeks it was 9:30.  And I never felt as though my LRs were improving.  By the end of the cycle I definitely didn’t have my usual kick to the finish.

2. Lifting:

• The good: I lifted 3x a week for the first 13 weeks of the plan.  Exactly what I wanted to do. For Providence (in May 2009) I lifted 2x a week and cut it out way early.
• The bad: I did the same routine each session.  So by the end of the cycle I probably wasn’t deriving as much benefit as I could have been.

3. Hills:

• The good: I was able to incorporate hills into my routine and even got to run the Comm Ave hill once during training.  This allowed me to BEAST Newton.  I never noticed the first of the hills (only after a guy running next to me said 1 down 3 to go) and the rest of them really weren’t bad.  Negative splits anyone? And I ran them at the end of my speedwork sessions semi-mimicking the fact that the hills come so late in the race.
  
• The bad: With the exception of going on Comm Ave once (and back in January too) all my hills were on the TM and I couldn’t prep myself for the downhills; let’s be honest here: everyone talks about the Newton Hills but the race is net downhill.  And while I still ran a strong race, with negative splits indicating the Newton Hills didn’t break me, my quads did take a beating.  Unfortunately as much as I would like to go back and change this, in reality I wouldn’t be able to if I could because my area is pancake flat and travel was not an option.

Other stuff…

1. Nutrition

• The good: Well I ate really healthy and made sure that I was getting a wide variety of nutrients by eating variety in each individual meal as well as meal -to- meal.  I even upped my salt intake so that I could retain more water to push through those tough workouts as well as the antibiotics I was on over the Easter break.
  
• The bad: I ended up losing a bit of weight which tells me that I wasn’t eating enough overall.  I’m a pretty small person girth wise so I think that if I had been able to keep on that weight then maybe I would have been able to run faster / harder. (Note: This is why I haven’t yet — and likely won’t ever– do another fueling post, I’m trying to figure things out for myself and see what works.  Again: inexperience here!) Another thing that was BAD was my lack of water intake.  Sure, overall I drink a lot of fluids but the daily breakdown looks like this: ~32oz milk, ~20 oz diet coke, ~16 oz ice tea, ~20 oz water.  So out of 88oz liquids consumed only 22% is water. Obviously an area where I can improve drastically.
• The ugly: Save for one long run I didn’t take in fuel during the long runs.  And I never took in any water or fluid (that goes for marathon day too although I did eat two mini-luna bars).  I don’t really know why this happened as during the my first marathon cycle in 2009 I readily ate during runs (never drinking things though).  This, in conjunction with overtraining, probably led to some of those lethargic runs toward the end of the cycle.  Hard to tell which was the larger source but they both played a role I’m sure.
  

2. Sleep

• The good: Ummmmm…I did make it a point to sleep A LOT the week before race day but it probably was just a drop in the bucket at that point because…
• The bad: Well I’m a college student.  Suffice it to say that I probably sleep a lot more than the average college student and I only got about 6 hours a night.  Not nearly enough when logging mega miles.  Part of it was work: those assignments certainly aren’t asexual! Part of it was social: It’s senior year and I want to see my friends. Part of it was likely overtraining.  But I wouldn’t change anything here even though sleep deprivation sucks hardcore.

3. GI Issues

• The good: I didn’t have to stop to go the bathroom during the race!
• The bad: It was awful to have bladder issues during my LRs.  Absolutely awful. Not really quite sure how to fix it though.  I tried a number of things and nothing worked.  Maybe it was mostly mental.  Wicked frustrating as I *never* had this problem training for Providence 2009.

4. Psychological / Mental stuff

• The good: I was mentally prepped to go into this race because I was expecting it to be a disaster with everything bad that happened.  Aka: I was expecting to just enjoy the race so it took the pressure off. I think what helped me the most gut out the hard miles at the end of the race was that I was doing so much at the time.
  
• The bad:I was mentally very tired by the end of the training cycle: finishing up Senior year, training while juggling all my classes, doing job searches, setting up things so I can apply to med schools, being social.  And then on top of that training a billion miles a week.  That’s just the “regular stuff”.  Throw in the toe issue that happened on Easter as well as the shin splints which really put a lot of doubt into my mind and it’s a wonder I made it to the starting line not in a straight jacket. There really isn’t, however, a way to reduce all that mental stress.  It’s just my life.
  

Well there you have it.  Again, everything went as well as it could.  Yes I could have done lots of stuff differently to produce a “better” race but it went down how it went down. I’m sure I could write more on the topic buttttt this sucker is long enough as it is.

P.S. The Boston Jacket is *still* being rocked 😀

Monthly Recap: February

I officially like doing these monthly recaps much better than weekly! It’s really nice to see how my training varies (or not ha) on one page. And oops for putting this up 3 days into March but hey, I was lazy in February and didn’t keep a running tally in my (handwritten) logbook haha.

But before I get into it I had the most demoralizing run this morning.  You know how I said the weather was going to stay nice and spring like so it was okay that I was on the tm yesterday? Well the weather gods decided to smite me and I got basically a blizzard.  I still stuck it out outside but man was it tough and I felt like it was a total test of my character. Snow, a bit of hail and a helluva lot of sleet.  Ugh.

That plus the intense intervals from yesterday made the pace sooooooooo slow. Obviously what my body needed but still very tough to handle looking at such a slow pace.  Add that to the clutter in my brain from some heavy life stuff and well…hopefully this doesn’t turn into a funk!

I do have some tempo miles on tap for Thursday (tomorrow) so I’m hoping that perks me up a bit 😀

Although again: weather gods WTF?!  When I last checked it was suppose to be nice butttt now it’s looking like snow/rain mix. Blahhhh.

Now onto looking back at February (although  Mel’s having a pretty cool giveaway):

Week of 1-February to 7-February

• 97.8 miles
• 14 hours 32 minutes 43 seconds
• 8:56 average pace
• Core 2x, Full Body Lifting 3x, XT 1X

This was a tough week.  I nixed the hills in my intervals session because I was feeling burnt out on them which I think helped my tempo later that week and I nailed my paces.  But the LR was mentally tough. I guess this was a character building week as everything seemed a bit tougher than it should have.  I was having a tough time sleep and stress wise so I’m sure that was a factor too.

Week of 8-February to 14-February

• 100.4 miles
• 15 hours 13 minutes 1 second
• 9:06 average pace
• Core 2x, Full Body Lifting 3x, XT 2X

Hollllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  100 mile week. BAM.  So proud of this week because I pulled off 2 stellar quality runs and one (the tempo) that was totally acceptable, just not outstanding.  The pace is over 9:00 for the first time this cycle and I think that it’s a combo of an overall slower tempo but also because I’ve been taking recovery runs VERY seriously.  If I’m going to be attacking as hard as I have been (both in intensity and mileage) then I need to keep being smart. Goal for next week: back off a bit as my run on Sunday was a bit sketch but I was determined to get that 100 🙂

Week of 15-February to 21-February

• 95.2 miles
• 14 hours 28 minutes 34 seconds
• 9:08 average pace
• Core 2x, Full Body Lifting 3x, XT 2x

Okay so I guess I was semi-successful in cutting back.  I meant to cut back more but I got carried away with my interval session and LR.  Not the biggest deal ever and I think it’s pretty significant that I was able to have a week that didn’t top the previous one.  Very good sign mentally, even if it was only 5.2 miles. I also was slightly slower than last week (which I attribute to a less than stellar tempo that I ended up calling a steady state run) but I think, in hindsight of course, that it was a positive to the week, especailly coming off a 100 mile week.  This was also the week that my shin starting bugging out a little (after the long run) so I switched completely to newer shoes. So hard for me to do but a potential injury is NOT worth it.

Week of 22-February to 28-February

• 97.1 miles
• 14 hours 38 minutes 16 seconds
• 9:03 average pace
• Core 2x, Full Body Lifting 3x, XT 2x

Okay so another great week.  I was really hoping for a sub-9 average pace given how awesome my tempo and intervals were but I guess I didn’t account for the fact that it would impact my recovery runs.  Couple that with an “eh” average pace for the LR (which I’m not disappointed with the run itself as a whole, but rather the first 12 miles or so) and I guess that 9:03 is what I should have expected.  I kind of wish I had run just a bit faster one of the days to get rid of those pesky 3 seconds.  What can I say: I’m a numbers chica.  But other that that I am THRILLED with how this week went.  Maybe the numbers don’t tell the whole story but it was definitely one of the most solid weeks I’ve had throughout this cycle.

February:

• 390.5 miles
• 58 hours 52 minutes 34 seconds
• 9:03 average pace

Again with those pesky 3 seconds! Overall I’m very pleased with the month.  I got some really hard workouts in, stuck to keeping a weight routine AND hit my first ever 100 mile week.  I secretly wish I had run a bit extra to hit 400 miles buttttt that would have required an average of 100 miles per week and I don’t think I had that in me.  Came close though and I’m happy with how it all went down.  And WOWZA I spent a lot of time running.  Guess I don’t really think about how much it really adds up.  Craaaaaazy.

Heading into March, and the Monster Month, I’m looking forward to having more intensity and, likely, more miles. And I say: BRING IT.

Ooooooooh We’re Halfway There

Wow. Not really the response I was expecting about my run yesterday. I figured that many of you would agree with me that running 20 miles after the past few weeks I had was dumb and tell me that I was being a bit foolish to keep pushing my body.  Maybe I picked the wrong word.  I think it was Amarathoner who said that it wasn’t dumb just ill advisable.  True. In either case I truly appreciated all of your words and it was so nice to “hear” that you guys don’t think I’m dumb for yesterday. In short, please keep reading and commenting because you guys always surprise me. 🙂

I feel like I am learning so much from you guys.  Not only in training but in perspective.  I love reading your take on how my training is going because you’re not biased in this. Or at least not tooo much.  Sometimes I think I’m too close to my training to be all that objective.

Just to clarify though: I wasn’t really apologizing per se about the run.  I have no regrets at all because it was a confidence booster to me and it felt really good.  I think that if I was hurting during it or if the run was struggling and I pushed extra miles it would be a different story and I would feel badly about “ignoring” the plan (just to note: the plan called for 20-23 yesterday so I wasn’t really going off plan).  But I was referring to all the previous weeks miles accumulating and *that* made the 20 a bad idea.   Oops if that got lost a bit. I worry too much sometimes about what could happen rather than be in the moment. But I felt pumped and invigorated.

Still do in fact.  There was something that just recharged me about the hard effort of yesterday.  I had been complaining talking recently about worrying I was falling into a funk and now it’s like, “Funk? Where?”.  Yesterday also made me realize how MENTAL running is.  Okay so I already knew that but it just hammered that point home for me.  I was thinking last night about how, for the last 5 miles of my 20 mile endeavor, I was running just as fast as what I did for my quality “tempo” (or as I’m calling it: steady state) run on Thursday.  That is just mind boggling to me.  Clearly there’s some sort of mental block with tempo runs that I’m going to try to work through over these next 8 weeks.

Yes, 8 weeks. Because as of tomorrow there is only 2 months exactly until Boston.  Hooollllleeeeeeeerrrrrr.

Very scary.  I still can’t believe that I’ll be toeing the line in Boston. It just doesn’t seem real at all.  How can my training be halfway there??

Every time I get an email about Boston my first impulse is to just delete it.  Crazy, no? And I can’t even bring myself to look at the Boston apparel. Or at least really look at it.  I’ve been daydreaming about buying a jacket but I don’t want to jinx myself! I’m also debating between the men’s or women’s celebration jackets.  Or if I should go for the Supernova in either men or women‘s styles.  I’m thinking celebration men.  I typically don’t like the way women styles hit me (simply because I’m so tall) but I also hesitate with the celebration.  I mean, obviously I’m going to want it after the fact, but it just seems so preemptive.  Any way, any thoughts on the subject would be greatly appreciated like always 🙂

But back to the actual running: despite hammering out the miles like a champ (can I say that and still consider myself modest? Haha) I didn’t feel sore at all.  Therefore I decided to go for a recovery run (and was there ever any doubt?) It went really well, although I wish that sometimes on my recovery run I could dial into the pace I want rather than what my legs want.  Not that it’s a bad thing (and indeed it probably should be my legs that dictate the pace) but I’m so unaccustomed to having my mind not be what’s in control that it still (8 weeks into training) a foreign concept too me.  My HR was nice and low too so obviously my legs know what’s what.

The only bad thing about today’s run was that I noticed a bit on an ache on my right shin.  I think it’s the beginning signs of shin splints so I’m taking precautions to make sure it doesn’t actually develop.  I’ve noticed that this training cycle, because I’m so paranoid about getting hurt from all my miles, that I’ve become very aware of my body’s early signs of potential injuries.  I know that both my achilles or plantar have acted out a bit during this training cycle and once I took preventative measures to make sure they didn’t escalate I’ve been okay and have had no problems since then.  So I’m thinking that this will likely be the same deal-io. And yet again, it’s partly thanks to you guys for keeping me on top of recognizing that I am doing intense stuff.

Okay so I’ve written about 958 words (don’t you just love word count? hah) and nothing too exciting.  Guess that’s just my Sunday for you.  I’ve been busy though! Not only with running but with physics.  I’ve been working on Experimental forever it feels like.  Basically we perform and write up one lab a week.  Doesn’t sound too bad but some of the labs are time consuming and tedious.  And it never ends. The second we hand in one lab we have to start the next.  So that’s where I’m off too now.

Ciao! Hope everyone is recharging their batteries this Sunday 🙂

Stupidity. But At Least I Had Fun.

AND it felt like SPRING today.  When I left my room it was 40* and by the time I finished my run it was 46*.  I totally could get used to this. The only downside was the wind, but it was an all or nothing thing: it either gusted hardcore or else it was pretty calm. Hooooooooolllerrrr.

Or not.  The weather made too much of a temptation for me to reign in the day today.  The schedule did call for 20-23 and I downsized that to 18 in my mind.  With all the crap that’s been going on in my life lately I felt it was the right call.  Plus the past 4 weeks have been:

• 17 miles FAST with Lacey
• 20.5
• 19
• 21.1

So I figured 18 was a good distance to have.  Likely the only time so far in this cycle that I was going under prescribed distance.  As you could probably tell during my little set-up I didn’t do that.  I instead hit 20.1.

I KNOW I KNOW. Incredibly stupid. And trust me I’m beating myself up over it.  I don’t know what got into me.  Well yes I do.  I let my mind and the weather take over. I definitely wasn’t hurting at all during this run so I also let my body take over.  Rather than use my BRAIN and be smart and keep the miles in check.  I’m still overall under mileage than this time last week but still.  Stupid.

While my decision to over-run was stupid I’m loving how the run went down.  I’m still on a runners high.  I was so energetic and pumped when I finished.  Here are the stats before I go any further:

• 14.4 miles. 132 minutes 28 seconds. 9:07 pace
• 4.6 miles      36 minutes 50 seconds. 8:00 pace
• 1.1 miles        8 minutes 40 seconds. 7:52 pace

Total time: 176 minutes 52 seconds
Total distance: 20.1 miles
Average pace: 8:49

The best part about this run? I had no bladder issues.  Well that’s a lie. Around mile 4 (again) my bladder was full despite emptying it 4 miles prior.  I seriously almost cried.  I really don’t know what to do anymore.  And the first 11 miles were basically me lamenting this fact.  And being wayyy lame. So I was putzing through these miles just complaining to myself.

I ran the first loops (the 14.4 miles) backwards to see if I could snap out of my funk and doldrums that the bladder issue was causing me.  It seemed to work a little bit, it was nice and refreshing to see the roads from a different perspective. Still…my bladder hated me.

At the 11 mile mark (and I knew I only had ~3.5 miles ’til hitting the dorms) I decided to pick up the pace. I think I too easily forgot that talk I went to Thursday night and felt like I was being an ungrateful brat during those previous miles. So I decided to use my legs because I have two perfectly good legs and there was absolutely no reason to complain that my bladder wasn’t “good” or my legs were blah or anything.  Despite what I consider “malfunctions” I am 100% healthy.  And I need to start acting like it.

That said, I picked it up.  I mean, LR is a quality run so I had no qualms about it plus I wanted to have something to concentrate on rather than how blahhhh everything seems to be lately. I guess I also wanted to prove that I’m not a quitter and I wanted a reason to be proud of myself.  I have no idea what the pace was because I didn’t check my watch until the 14.4 mile loop was over but it was a very quick clip and felt good.  Lo and behold: my bladder stopped screaming at me.

Is this the solution? Run really really fast to avoid peeing my pants? Who knows but when I got back to my dorm I realized that I wanted to push further without stopping.  I knew that there was a DD about 2 or so miles into the next loop so that if my bladder decided to make itself heard I could have some help.  But I also was aware of the fact that my increase in pace was keeping it at bay.  This helped me mentally SO MUCH.  If you remember last week I was wondering how I was going to *race* a marathon when I could barely run 12 miles without a bathroom break.  Clearly I’m going to be running fast during Boston so my mind was put at ease a bit.

So I kept up my fast pace.  Since I had no idea how fast I had just run the previous 3.5 miles I decided to just keep my pace up (or down rather. In any case I mean faster) and see how long I could hold it.  I was just feeling so good.  Earlier that morning I had been feeling a general malaise.  I was worn down by all my self-doubt, school stress, my-future stress and felt the beginnings of a funk coming on.  I highly suspect the weather for snapping that because I was able to keep an 8:00 pace for the next portion and I believe that’s roughly the pace I was at for the last 3.5 miles of the first portion.  Or thereabouts.

Once I finished the 4.6 (sans bathroom breaks) I knew I should stop.  Seriously I did.  I’m a smart kid: I would NEVER have advised someone in my situation to do what I did today.  But I was feeling great, the last 2 or so miles of that middle loop were muddy because it was a dirt road and I was laughing and having a blast getting my legs all gross.  I know that last week’s run I had described as a run that just clicked but today there was a childlike quality to it.  I felt playful and had a stupid grin on my face.  So I just rolled with it for the extra 1.1 miles.

Another part of it was that I wanted the mental boost of knowing I could do 20 without a bathroom break. But I can’t remember the last time I was LAUGHING on a run.  The sun was shining and so nice on my skin (because I got to wear shorts and a t-shirt.  Obviously still wearing gloves. Those won’t come off until May or so haha) and running was solely pleasurable.  Even when I’ve been having runs that “click” I haven’t been laughing or feeling carefree.  But I did today.

So YES: running 20.1 miles was DUMB.  Like I said above, I am kicking myself for it.  I definitely overdid it and I’m convinced I’m going to have some nagging aches and pains to watch now (even contemplating a rest/elliptical/no more than 5 day tomorrow. Sign of the apocalypse?).  But I am so happy after the fact. Not only with the numbers, although I will say that I have never run a long run that fast nor had splits like that at the end. Well maybe with Lacey but I’ve never been able to push like that on my own.

But I recaptured that pure joy that running should be.  I felt like a kid on the playground.  It was so amazing. And a great feeling heading into my mountain of work earlier today.  And to start my Saturday night. Have a great one guys (or most likely as this is being posted late and it’s probably going to be Sunday when you read this) hope you had a good Saturday night 🙂

Giveaways: Tricia and EatMoveLove

Self-Doubt

So before I get into talking about my tempo I want to say I’m so glad that you guys liked my Gym Crazies post.  Again, I want to reiterate that the people I described were *stereotypes* so I know that it’s generalizations and that doesn’t make them bad people.  I think you guys understood that and I got lots of first time commentators too, hope you guys stick around! I’m fun, I promise (even though this post is very self-doubty) 🙂

Okay yesterday I finally got my Christmas present (!): my camera. Yay. So the first picture I want to share with you is one of my Quantum homework because it kept me up for a bit last night:

Oh how I love my major (and you can click on it to enlarge)

and thereby did not let me get a lot of sleep.  Note that the portion I have in that picture isn’t really even any of the math, it’s mostly set-up.  And not that I’m sleeping much anyway.  But that’s a story for another day.

But I had a tempo today. The weather was absolutely wonderful: clear, sunny, 35*, no wind, no snow on the roads.  I was really hoping for redemption from my tempo last week where conditions made my pace slower than I would have liked normally.

Definitely wasn’t the case.  And I really don’t know why. There isn’t any real explanation for why today sucked.  Perfect conditions here!

I’m honestly a little (actually VERY embarrassed) to share my info for this run.  But since I want to be honest about my training, both the good and bad, here it is:

• 3.2 mile warm up @ 10:21
• 7.1 mile GMP @ 7:53
• 3.9 mile warm down @ 8:58

Total time: 124:01 minutes
Total distance: 14.2 miles
Average pace: 8:44

Such a struggle. But I feel like I’m a broken record when it comes to tempo runs.  Same story different week.  Any tips to break this cycle?

I think I should have known going into the “tempo” portion (notice how I can’t even bring myself to call it a tempo?) that my pace was not there because I never run slower than 10 minute miles. Sure I may hit 10:00 at some points but my average? Never.  So it was such a shock to see that. Not to mention that I typically end my warm ups at a much faster clip than I start.  Which means I was even slower at some points here.

But I was able to shake that off by knowing it was only the warm up and not the meat of the workout.  My legs just had other plans.  The funny thing is that during the faster part I actually felt like I could salvage the run.  Like, I wasn’t really going that slow.  But it was self-delusion because I never felt like I was hitting a tempo effort. And clearly wasn’t.  7:53 is WAY out of my range and is even slower than my half pace. I even took my HR at the end of that portion and it was 140.  Kind of low, no?

I don’t think it was a purely physical thing though because my mind just didn’t want to push any more.  It took all I had to not quit. And if you’ve been reading this blog at all then you know that I’m not like that.  I usually have to have to tell my mind to not push too much.  It was just really weird and not like me to not have that feeling.  I felt like I was kicking back and didn’t have that hunger to tackle this workout. And yet when I finished with the “tempo” and roughly calculated my pace, I just wanted to burst into tears because I do want this soooo badly.  I just couldn’t execute and that hurt.

Basically a HUGE confidence shaker.  As of this upcoming Monday there will be 8 weeks until Boston.  Meaning my training plan is half over.  I know that the next 4 or 5 weeks are The Monster Weeks.  It’s only going to get more intense.  If I can’t handle thing now what makes me think that I’ll be able to hit my key workouts then?

Maybe this is the portion of the training where the doubt creeps in (although I’ve always been told that it’s during the taper…) Last cycle I didn’t have a real goal nor was I being so aggressive with the training.  I was want this sooo badly right now.  It’s like I know I have the potential to do great things but potential means nothing if I can’t produce results. Rebecca put it really well in a recent post where she was talking about how running sets her apart from the Average Joe and without it things just seem off.  I completely can relate and today I just felt average.  And it didn’t feel good.

Maybe I’m not giving enough credit to the un-tangibles in my life affecting me. Whatever the cause of my funk this week (because even though Tuesday was a kickass workout it wasn’t “on”) I need to snap out of it.  Pronto.  On one hand, better now than the week of Boston, but I don’t want to lose focus on what I’m training for.

Maybe I need a fresh source of motivation.  Where I’ll find it? Who knows.  I finally got around to reading the Kara Goucher article from RW (because it was finally put online) and I love how she talks about confidence being her hard point and biggest obstacle.  I felt like every word she said was something that I had been thinking at some point.

And to wind down this post on an optimistic note (because I’m trying to change my glass half empty ways!) I will say that I really liked the idea of affirmations that the article presented.  Very corny concept (basically you tell yourself that you’re worth it) but a very good one.  Life is tough and there isn’t any one that’s going to pat you on the back every second of every day.  You need to be your own champion and advocate.  So I’m on the hunt for the affirmation that will take me through the second half of this training cycle.

Off to go to meetings, do homework and blast this song that I heard and immediately had to download.  It’ll snap me out of the bad mood / heaviness that I’m feeling. And it’s Thursday.  Thursdays are good (they’ve always been my favorite day of the week for some reason. Maybe even as a 5 year old I looked forward to Thirsty Thursdays haha)

[Edit: I wrote this post right after my run so it’s a bit “downy”.  But I just had a long meeting with my advisor about quantum, research, life, running EVERYTHING and I’m feeling a bit better.  This run still stings but I’m not as worried or feeling really anxious about life anymore.  Yay for advisors basically being my therapist haha)]

Working Hard

So I woke up this morning to snow.  Not the biggest deal ever for two reasons: Numero uno, nothing was sticking so there was going to be no accumulation (yup I am that New Englander who hates the snow. At least when I’m on campus and have to travel through it).  Numero dos: I didn’t have to worry about crappy ass drivers hitting me on my run because it’s Interval/Hill Tuesday, aka all the miles on the TM.

As much as I dread intervals and hill work I get a sick perverse pleasure writing out my workout Monday night.  Like it’s probably unhealthy how much I like it.  Oh well.  Guess I could be shooting up drugs in the bathroom to get that kind of rush so in the grand scheme of things my pleasures are tame.

Anyway before I get into the meaty-ness of my workout I want to say that I think I’ve been working wayyyy too hard on physics lately.  Now I am being productive and there hasn’t been any sort of frustration / meltdown but last night I had a dream that involved bras and kets (yes those are the real physics terms) and I was solving problems involving them in my sleep.  Too bad none of the answers to my problem sets were in there.

So clearly my workouts are a nice mental break from all that (as is speaking languages which today I stopped by the French TAs office hours to chat and it was soooo amazing!).  My plan only called for 4 X 1600 with 3 minutes recovery but, as usual, me being me had to go and change it all up.  So here’s what went down:

• 2 mile warm up
• 5 X 1600 @ 10k pace (7:08) with 3 minutes .4 mile recovery jog
• 1 mile warm down

5 minute bathroom / water break

• .5 mile re-warm up
• 3 X [.5 mile hills @ 5%] with .25 mile recovery (at .5%)
• 2 X [ 90 seconds @ 8%] with 90 seconds recovery (at .5%)
• 1 X [.5 mile hills @ 5%] with .25 mile recovery (at .5%)
• 2 mile warm down

Total time: 133 minutes
Total distance: 16.3 miles
Average pace: 8:10 (Interval portion: 7:53, Hills portion: 8:35)

First thought when I was done? Man am I glad that’s done.  When I walked into the gym I didn’t know if I really wanted to complete the workout.  It just seemed very scary today.  It’s not that much different than weeks past but very intimidating nonetheless.  Maybe it was the hill portion, like usual.

The mile repeats were tough.  Funny because when I was doing my 2000m repeats (which is like 1.25 miles) I felt great and I remember writing something about how longer intervals are nicer because I could get into my rhythm and showed what a distance person I am.  Not so much the case here.  Normally I think the TM keeps me really honest about the pace (because once I plug it in I feel like a pansy for lowering it during a repeat) but I was all over the belt today.  Side to side, front to back.  Craziness I tell you.  Luckily a really interesting documentary on the Blizzard of ’77/’78 was on the History Channel and I was able to get into it.

But I gutted it out and felt really good after the last one.  Well maybe not really good in the sense of banging out a few more (definitely would NOT have been able to) but it was a good solid workout nonetheless.  I hopped off the TM for a short water break (I was sweating soooooooooooo much!!) and then went for round 2.

Since the last time I did hills I did a bit of research into what type of hills I’m going to see at Boston.  I’ve been really worried that it’s all going to be STEEP and LONG.  Well I’ve been right about the long part (it seems that roughly the hills are .4-.6 miles long — at least the uphill parts) but I haven’t been too impressed with the grade.  The chart I was looking at didn’t indicate that there was anything much steeper than 4.5-5%.

Which is why I included more of the half-miles at 5% rather than my favs the 90 seconds at high grade this week (they just seem soooo much easier!) And maybe I had just been mentally psyching myself out over them but they didn’t seem too bad.  Of course I did only 3 before switching to 2 shorter once and then coming back for the last one.  Even though I like my even numbers (with 4 being the lucky one) 3 just seemed to be more manageable mentally for me.  Next week I’ll probably put the 4 together like I did for the first few weeks of training but I definitely remember those hills to be hard. Today after 2 I knew that my body only had to go through one more before switching it up but those other weeks after 2 it was like “only halfway there?! $%#%#$%”

I obviously ended up sweating up a freaking storm with this workout.  I never drink water during workouts (probably so bad but whatever) and I totally needed to today.  I think I was getting a bit dehydrated because during that water break I felt a bit lightheaded.  Nothing serious but I needed to take a moment and hit up the water fountain and re-group.  But when I was done I was feeling on top of the world!(And note: even though today’s run was 16.3 miles — clearly a lot — it was the exact same distance as last Tuesday so I’m still under what I was at this point last week)

Not to be confused with a run where everything just clicks.  I think I tend to talk about my runs very analytically, which is totally my sciencey brain coming through, and it probably leads many of you to think that I end most of my workouts feeling bamf like it was a stellar run (I will admit that I do feel bamf regardless of my feelings during the run).

Not so as today’s run was HARD.  I think I already mentioned it but when I started I was definitely overwhelmed by what I wanted to accomplish. Granted, the hardest part of any workout is the start, but I wasn’t really looking forward to the run and during it I was a bit bored.  Or at least not as attentive to being “on” is a better way of putting.  I guess it’s hard to describe the difference in words but I think that my weaving on the TM belt was one way that showed my mind wasn’t really engrossed.

Again, it’s not as though I hated it (I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t love it) but because I have a specific race already signed up for and a specific goal already planned for it I feel like running is on the “to-do” list.  It’s such a hard thing to describe though and I could probably write pages on it trying to find the right words. I think a lot of you get it though: running being both a want-to and a have-to.  So I’ll leave it at that. But I just wanted to clarify that I’m not some superhero chica who flies through workouts unfazed (as much as I would love to be!). Today was a day that seemed to faze me.

Okey-dokey atrichokey: after I hit publish (and WOOT to post #300!!) I’m off to go finish lots of homework.  And then watch LOST.  Because a girl needs her hot boy toys. And clearly with guns  🙂

I’ve Been Long Overdue

For a great long run.  Okay so maybe that’s an exaggeration because my bamf LR with Lacey was only 3 weeks ago.  Sure 3 weeks is a long time but in reality only 3 LRs.  And that’s not bashing my LRs for the past 2 weeks either, I fully admit that they were great and right where they needed to be.

That said they weren’t the “everything clicks” LR that I (and probably every runner) want on a regular basis.  No real complaints here on the weather (30* and sunny. Yay!) or anything like that. However (and I remember from high school English class that it’s bad grammar to start a sentence with “however”and even though it bugs me I am doing it anyway. Oh I’m a rebel) I still had bladder issues.  I even took Ada‘s advice and put some salt in my oatmeal this morning.  Nada.

By mile 4 my bladder was going to burst despite having gone seconds before leaving.  I just don’t know what to do anymore on this front.  I get really anxious about it too and mapped out my route so I knew that there was a DDs around mile 10 (which is usually the point where I have to start changing my form because I have to go so badly).  It’s really frustrating because I don’t have this problem before any of my first-thing-in-the-morning runs and I honestly don’t drink or eat a large amount before leaving. And it’s worrisome because I don’t want this to happen during Boston.  I’m chasing a very ambitious goal where every second is going to count.

Oh well.  That didn’t really spoil anything for this run.  I just felt on.  I even said to myself around mile 2 that I was feeling really good.  And then worried about jinxing myself because I still have about a billion more miles to go haha.  Not that there was really any need to worry as the miles really just flew by. At one point I had to look around because I was way further into the run that I thought! Not a bad thing at all.

My plan called for 18-21 miles with miles 9-12 at “marathon tempo”.  Now, as defined by my plan, marathon tempo is: 10 seconds faster or slower than MP.  So with my current MP of 8:20 my marathon tempo pace would be 8:10-8:30 (which is what they want me running my tempo runs as well but I think isn’t fast enough) but if I go with GMP I can run 7:50-8:10 which I think is decent for mid-miles in a LR. Since I don’t have anything that tells me pace while I’m running I just went with effort level.  I’m not convinced that for a LR I need to be exact with this.  I would love to be but I’m not going to drive myself crazy over it.  And considering that during these miles my bladder was pretty distended it’s doubly okay.

The funny thing is that after after I completed those 3 miles at ~GMP I didn’t want to go back down to a slower pace. They felt great and it was like once I got over the inertia factor my body was really comfy running faster.  Yes I did slow down but not back down to what I was running pre-marathon tempo miles.

Typically for my long runs I choose to run 1 really long loop followed by a smaller one but in light of my recently bladder issues I did a shorter loop (12.7) and slightly longer second (8.4).  I actually liked it this way.  If my bladder ever decides to start acting normally then I’d definitely go back to my originally way (I really like how after the first loop I only have 3-5 miles left.  Makes it feel sooo nice!).  But it was nice to be done the first loop today and feel really fresh.  Because even though having only 3 miles left is amazing, having 8 or so still isn’t bad and since I was feeling fresh I was able to kick it up a little bit (although I did tell myself that this was a quality run and pushing a bit is okay.  This is not a recovery run so it’s okay to be a little risky and I tend to be a bit conservative with long run paces).  And the stats reflect that:

• Loop 1: 12.7 miles. 116 minutes 14 seconds. 9:09 pace
• Loop 2: 8.4 miles. 71 minutes 14 seconds. 8:28 pace
• Total: 21.1 miles. 187 minutes 28 seconds. 8:53 pace

So clearly not only was I feeling good during the whole damn thing, the numbers reflect that.  It was such a confidence booster have a LR be sub-9. And have it be 100% by myself.  It’s like FINALLY.

I had been feeling a bit blah before this run but not anymore.  Sure I’m blogging while standing because I think that if I sit down I won’t be able to get back up and likely fall asleep (haha) but it was sooo energizing and yet tiring when I was done.  The second loop just felt powerful even though my legs were starting to tire and I felt like I was a machine and nothing could stop me. I totally finished with a smile on my face 🙂

Lung-capacity wise I felt like I could have gone on for many more miles.  My breathing was so steady and my HR at the end was pretty low.  But my hips told me otherwise, they were definitely feeling a wee bit sore during the second loop.  Definitely need to streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch those suckers out.  Lately I feel like my hipfelxors have been a bit weak, some of my ab exercises have also been felt in them.  So I guess that my current leg work isn’t getting them and that I need to focus on them a bit more. Suggestions?

Sore hips or no I’m soooooooooooooo thrilled in every way with this run. YAY!

Now I’m off to go work.  Blahhhhh.  I’m a freaking second semester senior.  Why do I have so much work?! Hahaha. Have a great rest of your Saturday everyone! 🙂

Check out this giveaway from Tricia.